Helluuu everyone and welcome back. Hope you’re all doing well! Today I want to talk a little Tough Love. Are you familiar? If so, are you a fan of tough love or do you prefer the friendly tap on the back for support?
Why I am bringing this up is because as you might have already seen I have a “Tough Love Tuesday” series going on on my instagram. Because I think it’s very important to give people some tough love from time to time.
And tough love doesn’t mean that you’re just saying mean things and need an excuse to do so. That’s called being a jerk and we don’t do that here.
No, what giving tough love means is that you’re honest with someone even when you know they’d prefer your unconditional support right now.
Let’s take a closer look at the expression, shall we? Tough love: tough because it might hurt the other person, love because you want what’s best for the other person and you’re coming from a place of love. So, you can and should only give tough love to the ones closest to you. And remember that it’s still just your subjective opinion.
Why is that important? “Shouldn’t we just be nice to each other?”, you might ask. No, no we shouldn’t. At least not when the other person would benefit from your honesty.
An example: if one of your friends decided to work in a field that they were absolutely not suited for, I am going to use musical theatre as an example because that’s what’s closest to me. And they are not good singers at all and they have no feeling for their own body and don’t know how to act (this is an exaggerated example and not based on someone I know), wouldn’t they profit from someone telling them that this might not be the field for them? Imagine they would get into a private school (because they take on a lot of people because they need the money) and they would pay 500€ a month and can only hope that one of their teachers decides to tell them that this is not for them. Aaaalll the money they could have saved if only someone had been honest with them.
I think that honesty is so important. This is partly because I am from northern Germany and we are all pretty honest.
And I am not saying that this feels great. Nope, this shit can hurt. But it is going to safe you time and more pain that is to come.
And because this shit hurts, let me tell you a few things that might help you when someone has just given you some tough love:
1) This person might have just hurt you, so this is personal for you. Take the time to take a step back and try to see the whole matter from an objective perspective.
2) Not everyone is qualified to give you tough love. If they have never been in the same situation as you have been, or they are not in a place of their life that you respect or want to be in, be skeptical about what they just told you.
3) If someone unqualified is giving you tough love agree to disagree. There is no use in arguing. Let them know that you don’t share their opinion and move on.
But in which fields do we need tough love?
Sometimes we need tough love when we’re running in the wrong direction in our lives. Maybe we made a bad choice and someone oughta tell us.
Sometimes we need tough love to get off our asses and go for what we want.
Maybe we need a push to get out of our comfort zone. That’s where tough love comes in.
Regarding my business, tough love has been the most important asset for me. I have talked to people for the longest time and thought they already ghosted me, but when I reached out to them and gave them some tough love and stood up for myself it has always been the most effective way to get back in touch.
It also works the other way around. One of my coaches is actually the best at giving tough love because what she says just makes sense. It’s just exactly what the whole team needs to hear.
Because this business is about being consistent and even though we are all working to achieve freedom and create our dream life and the best lifestyle we could ever imagine we can’t just go and hang out at the beach for weeks because we still need to put in the work. And sometimes you need someone to tell you that or give you a hint what you should work on next.
Okay, this was a lot of talk. I hope this inspires you to go out and give somebody some tough love. No, please don’t just give someone some tough love because you want to give someone tough love. Wait until you actually have something to say that is going to help them.
Let’s all be a little less judgmental and a little more honest with each other. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments or via the contact form on the right. Or reach out to me via my instagram.
Stay safe everyone,
Ingalisa