This is an article by my wonderful sister! Enjoy reading it, I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me!
Everyone has watched a movie about a girl who gets her heart broken and then she cries and eats ice cream and watches romantic movies while crying some more. And then her friends come into the room and tell her “We’re going shopping, so you can stop crying!” And then they pull the poor girl with them, even though she only wanted to be alone and after her shopping trip she looks stunning once again, and she’s fine.
This is a form of self care but it isn’t portrayed very well.
I, for one, am a big fan of self care but it is quite unrealistic to assume that whoever is feeling lost will be better after one shopping trip. Self care in the media is portrayed like it’s pretty. It can be, but most of the time its ugly. Self care is about taking care of yourself in the darkest moments. It’s about realising when you need help and how you are willing to accept it; whether it is through a friend or through yourself.
I do believe that self care is a great way to wind down, maybe do as the girl in the movie does and meet up with friends and go shopping. Light a candle and read a book. Those are great ways to take care of yourself if you are feeling stressed but not if you are feeling lost and like no one could ever understand what you are going through.
It is important for everyone to understand those different kinds of self care because if you are trying to help a friend who is feeling stressed, lighting a candle for them will, maybe, be enough to calm them, but someone who is so deep in their mind and doesnt know how to help oneself , won’t feel better because of a candle.
Everyone needs self care, whether or not you are telling yourself you are only stressed because of one little thing and it will pass. It will, but that doesnt mean that you have to go through it without a break. The art of self care is knowing what you need and when.
Maybe you are feeling more anxious than ever; then you should take a break from social media because, trust me, social media is not good for your anxiety.
Set bounderies for who you want to talk to and for how long. Check with yourself whether you actually need this person in your life or if they are maybe doing more harm than good. It’s hard to stop talking to people, but your mental state is the most important priority you should have.
I thought about what I do when I feel lost or need a a break, so here are my tips for you:
Clean your living space, open your windows; a clean space gives you a clean mind.
Is your work stressing you out? Make sure you’re working in a positive environment, especially now that most of us are working from home.
Take breaks whenever you need them. You will work this job for a long time and you can take as many breaks as you need.
Is this virus messing with you? Make sure you feel safe in your home and create stability wherever you need it.
Maybe you have always avoided big groups and aren’t entirely sure why. Maybe you tell yourself, “I just dont like humans” and while you may prefer to not be around others, it’s still important to have human interactions. Social contact will help you cope with any stressful situation in your life. If you feel uncomfortable around new people, talk to someone you already know and trust. Talking to someone you like is an important factor in helping you cope with something you are trying to avoid because it’s always nice to know that you are valued and that someone is listening to you and likes talking to you.
If you are feeling exhausted from human contact, sleep or maybe talk to yourself. At first you may feel crazy but it’s one of the most important things you can do to get to know yourself better and of course; you are the best listener that you could ever wish for. Better than anyone else could ever be.
My favourite type of self care is journaling. I have only recently discovered it and at first I was sceptical of it, because it seemed like something the trendy girls do and I figured those girls have everything going for them, they dont need an outlet of any kind because they are always feeling good about themselves and know exactly what they are feelling and dont need to write it down.
Well, I will happily admit that I was wrong. Journaling has helped me order my thoughts and realise what I’m feeling. Writing down what is happening in my life is a great way to avoid talking to people, if I dont feel like it.
Like I already mentioned; self care is an art. So you first have to get familiar with it. Imagine you want to paint something for the very first time and have never done it before, you would first need to get familiar with your brushes before you can jump into creating a masterpiece. So take your time finding out what helps you.
You can’t be the best you if you don’t know yourself.
I hope that I could help you with this list of things that can help you clear your mind.